When you are feeling depressed, having a loving, supportive relationship with your partner can help you in your path towards healing and creating a happier life. But often depression interferes with your relationship, distancing you from your partner during your time of need.

If you are in the midst of depression, you may worry that you aren’t good enough for your partner, or become irritable around them. You may even push them away when you feel like your emotions are beyond your control. In addition, your sense of intimacy may diminish, and your sex life may fizzle as a result of fatigue, medications and feeling disconnected from your partner. The hard truth is that feelings of isolation, worthlessness, and tiredness can all take a hefty toll on your love life. But you don’t have to let depression be the demise of your relationship.

Using an integrative approach based in mindfulness, interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), When Depression Hurts Your Relationship offers practical skills to help readers with depression reignite intimacy with their partners.

If you suffer from depression, this book is a must-read to help keep your romantic relationship healthy, exciting, and rewarding for you both.

REVIEWS

“When Depression Hurts Your Relationship is an outstanding book, packed with easy-to-read information and strategies that will help couples navigate the stormy waters of depression. Shannon Kolakowski comprehensively tackles how depression negatively roots itself in the bonds of a partnership and offers solutions that are gentle, frank, and straightforward. One of the most wonderful things about Kolakowski’s writing is that she delicately weaves science and research in such a way that it doesn’t overwhelm the reader. Instead, When Depression Hurts Your Relationship empowers, informs, and inspires with hope and encouragement.” 

—Deborah Serani, PsyD, psychologist and award-winning author of Living with Depression

“Kolakowski has written a wonderfully practical book to help people dealing with depression and struggling to preserve their relationships. She integrates her psychology expertise in very simple and easy-to-follow ways. From attachment to coping styles, Kolakowski addresses the psychological aspects of depression that contribute to hurting a relationship, and offers practical and easy exercises to break away from harmful patterns. The book is a great resource—not only for people dealing with depression in their relationship, but also for any couple wanting to improve their communication style, add mindfulness in the relationship, and gain sexual intimacy. As a professor and psychologist working with couples, I intend to recommend this book to my psychology students and couples as an easy read and addendum to clinical work.” 

—Dinelia Rosa, PhD, president-elect of the New York State Psychological Association, director of the Dean Hope Center for Educational and Psychological Services at Columbia University, and adjunct associate professor at the clinical psychology program at Teachers College, Columbia University

“Depression is one of the greatest obstacles in relating to others or yourself. When Depression Hurts Your Relationship is a wonderful remedy for making sure that this doesn't happen to you or your relationship. It is the right book at the right time, and will help millions of people prevent depression from getting in the way of living happily ever after.”

—Mark Goulston, MD, author of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

“If you are depressed, new hope and a new life await, thanks to the book When Depression Hurts Your Relationship. In it, you’ll find a clear, compassionate, and comprehensive guide, filled with hands-on activities and exercises to steer you through the morass of depression and stagnation that’s separating you from your partner. Thanks to Kolakowski's invaluable resource, you can rebuild your connection with your partner to be stronger than ever, and find comfort in each other’s arms once again.”

—Sheri Meyers, PsyD, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Chatting or Cheating: How to Detect Infidelity, Rebuild Love and Affair-Proof Your Relationship

“In this new book, Shannon Kolakowski shows a deep and compassionate understanding of the ways in which depression shows up in our most cherished relationships. Based on research and Kolakowski's own clinical experience, this book is accessible to real people with real relationship goals. Packed with reflective exercises and concrete tools, When Depression Hurts Your Relationship will empower you (and your partner) to create a healthy and loving bond.”

—Heidi Reeder, PhD, author of Commit to Win and associate professor of communication at Boise State University, ID

“When Depression Hurts Your Relationship provides readers with scientifically-grounded yet accessible knowledge that they can apply to their lives. It's a valuable contribution to the genre of science-help, and I have no doubt that it will help readers improve their relationships and live more fulfilling lives.”

—David DiSalvo, author of Brain Changer: How Harnessing Your Brain's Power to Adapt Can Change Your Life

About the Author

Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist in private practice. She blogs for Huffington Post, and is the author of Shy, Single and Looking for Love. Kolakowski's work has been featured in magazines such as Redbook, ParentMap and Men's Health Magazine, as well as online at Shape.com and eHarmony. She's made television appearances on New Day Northwest and ABC news. 

Foreword writer Craig Malkin, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, author, and instructor of psychology for Harvard Medical School. His articles and insights have frequently been featured in publications like Psychology Today, match.com's Happen Magazine and Women's Health, and he's made numerous TV and radio appearances, including NPR and Fox news.